Fancy Chocolate
by Exotos135
Summary: Rita shares a peculiar type of chocolate with the girls on Valentine's Day.


**Happy Valentine's Day, everybody! Exotos135 here bringing you a relatively short one-shot for the holiday.**

**All you need to know is that it involves chocolate. But not the chocolate you're used to, oh no.**

**That's all I can say without spoiling the (maybe disappointing) surprise, so let's move on! :)**

* * *

It was Saint Valentine's Day at the city of Royal Woods, and the man of the Loud House, Lynn Sr., had just returned to work and headed to the kitchen, when he spotted his wife, Rita, sitting on the couch.

"Good evening, honey!" the man said as he walked to his wife's side. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Rita reached for her back and took out a box of chocolate. "Found this box of chocolate on our drawer. Did you have something to do with it?"

"Well, you found me," the man chuckled. "I checked the calendar and found out that it was soon going to be Valentine's Day! So, in order to celebrate, I decided to buy you your favorite kind of chocolate!"

Rita's smile slowly turned into a frown. "Don't tell me-"

"Yup, alcoholic chocolate!" Lynn Sr. chirped, still oblivious to his wife's horror. "And it was quite the lucky purchase, too: It was full of quality, at half the price! Can you believe it?!"

However, Rita didn't respond: She looked elsewhere and looked like she was hesitating greatly from bitting her nails, something which her husband quickly noticed:

"Why don't you seem so cheerful about it, honey?"

Rita turned to the man and twiddled her fingers. "W-Well..."

Rita opened the box, revealing it was completely devoid of chocolate.

"What?!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed with a mixed tone of shock and amazement. "You ate the entire box before I got here?!"

"No I didn't!" Rita folded her arms and sighed. "H-However, our daughters ate it... well, part of it-"

"Impossible! I made sure to hide the chocolate where the kids wouldn't find them!" Lynn Sr. said in disbelief. "How did the girls find the box?"

Rita scratched the back of her head. "Well, I may or may not have shared some of the chocolates with them-"

"What?!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed.

"The girls were quite upset for a number of reasons, and I thought that, since they love chocolate, I thought giving them some of mine would cheer them up," Rita explained. "Besides, considering how we've been doing this since we started dating, my alcohol immunity's so high, the chocolate was a normal one for me."

"Wait, really?" Lynn Sr. asked with disbelief. "You didn't even feel a little different?"

"Lynn, we've been doing this for years," Rita answered with a deadpan tone. "It'll take more than one box to get me drunk."

"If only the same was true for the girls," Lynn Sr. said, shaking his head. "We have to find them before they get hurt or something! Do you have any idea where they could be?"

"Well, they're all in the house, so there's that," Rita snapped her fingers and got an idea. "Let's split up, I'll look for the girls here, and you go look for them upstairs."

The parents nodded, and without hesitation, they went their separate ways.

And in Lynn Sr.'s case, he barely managed to take a step on the upper floor before he tripped on something. And that something turned out to be Lori, who was sleeping with a vibrant blush on her cheeks.

"Okay, there's one of them," the man remarked as he stood up and dusted himself. "Now I just gotta find the rest of the girls here."

"That won't be necessary."

The man turned around and saw Leni walking towards him, looking particularly calm while she sported a vibrant blush on her cheeks, and carried a sleeping Luna and Luan on her arms.

"Leni? What happened with Luna and Luan?" the man inquired. "And are you... okay?"

"If it wasn't obvious from the get-go, it seems me and all of my sisters have become intoxicated by the alcohol imbued within the chocolate that mother shared with us today," Leni explained with a matter-of-factly tone. "And so, we've all experienced a significant behavioral change as a result."

Leni glanced at the sleeping Lori. "For example, Lori over here, due to always hiding a lot of stress and staying alert all the time, completely lets everything go and falls asleep when drunk."

Then she looked at the comedian and rockstar. "I went to check Luna and Luan, and from what I can see, these two suffer a similar effect: Although in Luan's case, she sporadically giggles quietly, while Luna hums classic music tunes in her sleep."

"And in your case," Lynn Sr. interrupted. "You're talking like you were as smart as Lisa?"

"While that could be an accurate summarization at first glance, I'm afraid that my drunk-induced increase in intellect is nothing compared to Lisa when she's sober," Leni answered as she motioned to her side, almost as if she was trying to adjust the glasses she didn't even have. "However, in her current drunken state, you could suggest that we exchanged our levels of intelligence, which, in turn, would be just as accurate, yet inaccurate."

"_It's official, Leni's drunk self is the scariest one so far,_" the man thought. "O-Okay, I'll take it from here, sweetheart, thank you."

"No problem, and before you ask, I've secured Lisa and Lily in their room as well," Leni replied bluntly. "So, right now, you should go check Lincoln, Lucy, Lynn, and the twins room, they're the only ones left."

"Wow, really?" Lynn Sr. blinked twice. "Well, thanks again."

Leni nodded, and the man promptly ran to the twins' bedroom, where the only girl he saw was Lola, who was having a tea party by her lonesome.

And no, not in the sense that she only had her imaginary friends or her stuffed animals, she was literally all alone at the table.

"S-Sweetheart," Lynn Sr. nervously asked. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, Mommy, I'm fine, Daddy," Lola answered, while looking at Lynn Sr. and the door, respectively.

Rita lowered her eyelids. "You're drunk, aren't you?"

"What's tis druink thin' you're taking about?" Lola questioned, her vocabulary visibly being affected. "I'm totly fien!"

And shortly afterwards, the diva collapsed and snored.

"Well, at least it was short-lived," the man said as he grabbed, lifted the girl, and carried her in his arms before he put her on her bed. "Now, where could Lana be?"

Then he got an idea.

**_The Backyard!_**

Rita stood at the door, watching Lana and Lynn blushing as they walled on all four and acted like dogs.

"_I'm having a hard time telling if Lana and Lynn are drunk or not,_" Rita thought as she watched the event unfold. "_I mean, they always act like dogs for fun anyway._"

And then she saw them hugging Cliff the cat and rubbing their heads against his body. The cat didn't seem to mind, though.

"_Yeah, no, they're definitely drunk._"

So the woman promptly grabbed the duo and brought them back inside to the kitchen, where the rest of the Loud siblings had been gathered.

Yes, even Lincoln and Lucy.

"So, what were those two doing?" Rita asked, pointing at the Lucy-Lincoln duo.

"They were under Lincoln's bed," Lynn Sr. answered. "According to Lincoln, it was because Lucy insisted she wanted to sleep with the monsters under his bed, but since they're drunk, I don't think that's the reason."

Blinking twice at the statement, Rita promptly shook her head, and helped her kids turn back to normal by giving them a drink to end the intoxication instantly.

What did she give them? Probably something made by Lisa.

"Ugh, what happened?" Lori asked.

"Well, remember the chocolate that I shared with you this morning?" Rita asked, earning a nod from her children. "Your father bought it for me, but it had a little extra... something, that made you feel a little dizzy."

Rita folded her arms and turned to Lynn Sr. "Alright, Lynn, apologize."

"What did I do this time?!" Lynn exclaimed.

"No, not you, Lynn, I mean your father," the woman clarified. "For bringing the box of alcoholic chocolates without telling me anything about it."

"Sweetheart, you were the one who allowed the girls to eat the chocolate, knowing that they'd probably eat enough to get them drunk," Lynn Sr. argued back. "And besides, we've been doing this for so long, you should've known what I was doing in the first place."

"That's no excuse to not apologize for it!" Rita replied.

"You're right: I'm sorry for not telling you about the alcoholic chocolates," the man answered. "And, if it makes you feel better, I promise not to buy them ever again."

"Okay, Mom, now's your turn to apologize," Lori told the woman.

"Why me?!" she exclaimed.

"Because you gave us the chocolate without any resistance," Lisa explained. "I mean, when Dad's not here, you're the one supposed to keep things under control, and having been through this procedure several times, you should've known there had to be more to the chocolate than meets the eye."

Rita sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry I got you drunk thanks to my carelessness."

"Alright, with that out of the way," Lynn Sr. spread his arms wide. "How about a little hug, so we can share love between us?"

Seeing no danger in this action, the Loud family hugged together, ensuring that even if they didn't receive any love letters, or chocolates this Valentine's Day, they'd still get some love from their own family.

The perfect anti-climax for an anti-climactic day, wouldn't you say?


End file.
